


Bandit

by skvllbvnny



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/M, Mad King Ryan Haywood, Name Calling, Smut, king AU, readers name is sam just for the sake of easiness i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 18:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10254437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skvllbvnny/pseuds/skvllbvnny
Summary: You and your bandit crew are planning a huge heist: steal from the Mad King’s castle. You’re the one doing the dirty work.





	

Dark clouds drifted through the sky as you walked through the woods. Almost home. Well, it was what you called home; a dark, damp cave where you slept every night. Not the standard definition of a home, but it was where you stayed night after night. You and your crew traveled back there after a good night of “working” and then counted the profits. Everything you loved was there in that cave, and the location was just about as perfect. You even got a good view of Achievement City. Especially the king’s castle.

The mad king, they called him. Sometimes even to his face. He loved it though and coined that nickname for himself. Like it was made for him or something. He was given the crown and refused to give it away. Nobody could stop him. Some say he keeps a cow in a hole in the castle now. A bit strange, you thought, but everybody as their little thing they do when others aren't looking. You never understood why he was so mad. Nobody could intimidate you.

You slipped under the cave entrance and took out your lighter you stole that day. The cave walls dripped with rain water from earlier that day, making a noise as they hit the rocky floor. You were greeted by a warm hug. It surprised you and you let out a gasp, the air leaving your body.

“Hey, there you are," Gretchen called out. Gretchen was your closest friends and she was one of the others who camped out with you. She was short and pudgy, her dark brown hair was always in tight knots, and she was bandaged up in several places. You laughed and broke the hug to put down some of the loot you acquired today. Gretchen wasn’t even her real name, but none of you could use your real names out of fear of the authorities of Achievement City catching you.

“Hey, Gretch, I actually returned tonight,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“I missed you, I didn’t doubt you coming back or anything,” she replied as she smirked and sat down again around the fireplace. Your other friends who called themselves Ace, Owen, and Abby sat around and were eating some pork they cooked earlier. They all had bags in their laps as usual. You sat next to Owen, who waved and took a large bite of the pork. You waved back and grabbed some raw pork to cook for yourself.

After conversing about the long day, Ace spoke up finally. Ace was really confident and you respected him for that. He had bangs that covered his eyes and his body was lanky. The whole city used to be terrified of him before he disappeared to live in this cave with you guys. He was the mysterious one in the group.

“So, what did ya guys get tonight?” he said, rummaging through his bag. He pulled out various minerals, an apple, and then the goods: clothes, nuts, and bolts taken right off doors of some villagers, even a gold chest plate worn by one of the king’s guards. The others grinned and stared in awe at the loot he stole that day. Selling that to the right people could get you a lot of money or a big jail sentence. Maybe even execution. Owen sighed.

“I only got some fruits from the fruit stand. My loot is shit today,” he grumbled, dumping his bag out and letting some fruits roll around. Ace picked up one of the cherries that rolled by and popped it in his mouth. He spits out the pit into the flames before him. A sly grin was etched across his face.

“I got some good shit,” Abby says as she pulls out an iron helmet. She slipped it on her head over her blonde hair. She grinned with pride as the group, including you, laughed. Abby was silly and was the comic relief in times of dread. As she sat down, Gretchen dumped her bag to reveal a few blankets she stole from a local shop in town that you used to visit before you joined the group of bandits. It was always so expensive for no good reason, so you didn't have any problem with stealing from them. The group discussed their loot until Ace turned to you.

“So, Snappy, what did ya get today?” he asked with a soft nudge to your shoulder. You got that nickname because you were snappy and rude to people who were the same to you, Ace was great with nicknames. Of course, that wasn’t your real name. The only time they used your real name was when you were all being very serious and it wasn’t the time for nicknames. Looting time was not one of those times. You smirked proudly and pulled out something they would have never seen before.

The Mad King’s diamond sword. His most prized possession.

Owen and Gretchen gasped at the same time. Ace’s mouth dropped open and Abby grinned with excitement.

“You can’t be fucking serious,” Abby said, reaching out to touch it gently. You nodded slowly with a sense of pride.

“I found it in the forest. It even has his name engraved on it," you pointed to the small letters that spelled out ‘King Ryan Haywood’. This was the only thing in your bag today, but it was worth it. Completely, one hundred percent, worth it.

“Where did you get this from?” Gretchen asked, going over to touch the sword cautiously and curiously. It sparkled in the light of the fireplace.

“I found it just outside the castle near the royal gardens. I just hope he doesn’t come kill me or something,” you answered, turning your view to the entrance of the cave. You shrugged, then turned back to your crew. They kept staring at the sword.

"He's not going to trace it to you unless you're careless about covering your tracks," Owen responded.

“Keep that thing close to ya while ya sleep,” Ace said, packing his loot up. You nodded as you threw your backpack by the mass of blankets you call a bed. Owen went to gather the fruits that were scattered around as the others packed up and went to their “beds”. You put the sword near your bed as Ace turned to you.

“Snappy, listen to me. I was plannin’ a heist we can pull off and I forgot to mention it. But it all depends on you. It can lead us to riches, ya hear me, Snappy?” he said, his New York accent really coming out. You grinned, getting excited at the words 'riches’.

“What do I have to do, Ace?” you ask, pushing the diamond sword further into hiding.

“Well, ya gotta sneak into the castle and find out where the king keeps those gems of his,” he continued, nudging your arm a bit. You were enticed by the idea, but if you were caught you were dead for sure. You knew you could get away with it with your skill and help from your friends. “If you’re caught, scream and we gotcha. We will be in the gardens so we can hear your screams.”

“I’ll do it. No problem,” you said as Ace put his pale hand on your shoulder. He grinned and chuckled.

“Atta girl. The heist is tomorrow when we’re all up and after we eat,” he says as he kicks out the flame. You crawl into your blanket pile and encase yourself warmly in the heap of blankets. You thought about the plan, thinking about how rich you’ll be after this, but the haunting inevitability kept creeping up between the good thoughts; you could have your life taken from you by the Mad King himself if you weren’t slick enough. Sure, your group was reliable and they've saved your ass from danger before whenever something within the plans got fucked up. But what if they’re caught and executed along with you? Ace was a good, trustworthy guy, but you had no idea if he could be fast enough to save you from the king himself.

By the time you were done thinking, you were fast asleep. You dreamed about the Mad King, about the diamond sword, about the fresh blood on his hands after he catches you, about Ace, Abby, Owen, Gretchen and the running they’ll do to save you. You woke up with a startle as Abby squealed with excitement. She was wearing the iron helmet and Owen was braiding her long hair back so it wouldn’t bother her. Ace grinned at you as you woke up and threw you a piece of meat.

“Eat up, Snappy,” he said as you took a bite and sat up. Gretchen was pacing back and forth, a nervous gleam in her eye that you were unfamiliar with. She was typically the stronger one. You stood up and finished the meat slab and thanked Ace for the food. He just nodded and licked his lips.

“Gretchen, are you alright?” you asked your best friend as you caught her hanging by the entrance. She turned to you and hugged you tightly. You hugged back as she sobbed into your chest.

“Oh god, I hope you make it out alive,” she wails, her voice muffled by the fabric of your shirt.

“I’ll be okay. I pinky promise. Us bandits gotta stick together, am I right?” you said, rubbing the top of her back soothingly. She nods and breaks the hug.

“Right.”

You grin at her words and pull her in for yet another embrace.

“You ladies done having a crying fest?” Owen pipes as he, accompanied by Abby and Ace, step out of the cave. The two of you laugh and nod. Gretchen wipes her eyes and smirks playfully up at you. You wink down at her and the two of you walk over to the others. Then, you all head down to Achievement City to start what could be the biggest heist ever.

~~

“Snappy, remember. If ya need us, we’ll be in these gardens. Either scream for us or come down screamin’ and runnin’ for us and we can jet outta here. We’ll head out by dark. If you ain’t out by then, well, it was nice knowin’ you,” h e said jokingly. That comment made your stomach turn in a way you never felt before. Gretchen elbowed him in the gut and he coughed and bent over. She sighed and hugged you once again. Then the others joined in for a giant group hug.

“Good luck, I believe in you,” Owen said as he patted your back. You smiled at him.

“Thanks, big boy,” you said back. Abby grinned and kissed your cheek goodbye. Ace nodded and pushed you to the side entrance to the castle. They all waved as they made their ways to the castle’s elegant gardens.

You snuck in through the side entrance only to figure out it was near the dining area. Sweet. You grabbed some food off the counters and stuffed it into your bag. Might as well, right? If you make it out alive, you get the nicest dinner y'all have ever had thanks to the King's chefs. You kept tiptoeing down the hall and then proceeded to silently run.

You heard footsteps, suddenly.

Your heart stopped.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap._

The first idea that popped into your head was to hide in the nearest room that was unlocked. You grabbed the door handle and pulled, successfully opening the door. You ran into the large room and turned on the lights. Beautifully painted portraits of past kings hung on the wall. Then other notable characters were painted near the back, trapped in time forever. You noticed them, scanning their names with your eyes, then smiled up at them. They all looked so…happy. Then in the way back, illuminated with lights and framed with the purest gold they could smelt in Achievement City, was the king himself. The crown rested in his dirty blonde hair, his blue eyes seemed to pierce you as if he was staring down at you. You smiled up at him, realizing something. Damn, you thought, he was kinda cute. You stared at the picture until you heard a door open.

“Like what you see, bandit?”

There he stood, as confident and as brutal as he seemed in the painting.

The Mad King himself.

You backed up, eyes widening in fear. This was a nightmare you couldn't escape. You fucked up, you kept thinking to yourself. You turned to look for another exit while he stalked over to you. There were none to be found. This was how you were going to die.

“Y-yeah…uh….h-hello,” you stammered, shaking violently. He crept closer, his newly polished shoes clanking against the marble floor.

“Hello, miss,” he said, finally looming over you. He had a grin that made you feel like you were getting stabbed in the stomach with a thousand knives repeatedly. You didn’t respond to him. “I know your little plan. If you weren’t so young and so…” he stopped what he was saying and reached down to grab your chin. His hands were strong and you felt a pang of pain shoot through your body, “…so beautiful, I would have executed you by now.”

“Thank you for not killing me, your highness,” you manage to say, cowering under him. He chuckled and released your chin from his strong grip.

“You’re welcome, young one. I know what your intentions were, though, and you will tell me where your friends are. I'm not as dumb as you petty thieves think I am. Do you not know that I have this place guarded?” His tone was rapidly growing violent and devilish.

“But…I…”

“Come on, you can tell me," he said, getting dangerously close to you. Not that you minded it, but you would be a lot more comfortable if you didn’t have to rat out your friends to him. You shook your head, hoping he would give up and let you go. Slim chance.

"I don't know where they are, King."

“Tell me your name.” he requested once again and once again you shook your head. He growled and grabbed your chin again. “Tell me.” He repeated. You choke out your name to him. Not Snappy, not any other nickname Ace or your other friends gave you. Your real name. The name you were given at birth and abandoned when you took the role of bandit years ago. The one you used when you were nervous or in serious trouble, which hasn't happened until now. He mimicked it a few times and bit his lip slightly. Your body still ached with anxiousness as he let you go once again. He then grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the portrait room down to his room.

"Sam, huh?" He smirked at your submission to him while he dragged you. You were defeated. Almost.

“Let me go,” you screamed as loud as you possibly could, but you wouldn’t dare fight against him. His grip was too strong and the consequences surely weren’t good if he caught you again.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, letting you go and locking the door. You trembled and looked out the window. “listen to me. I won’t hurt you. Please stay calm for me. Your friends are already captured and thrown in jail per my request. I didn't have them killed yet. I know you took my sword,” he said, putting a hand on your shoulder. You jumped back in defense. “I’m the mad king, you know. You should be afraid. But you seemed like a fearless girl outside, talking to your little buddies in that hole where you crawled out from. Like nasty vermin. I like that.” He said as you gazed into his eyes. They were so gorgeous, and for a moment you were sidetracked by them to realize the intensity of his words. 

“Are you listening, Sam?”

You snap back to reality as your old name rolls off his lips once again. Just hearing it made you sick. You nod, blinking several times to return to reality. He smirks, amused at you. He leans in a bit to you so his lips are only an inch away.

“I know you think I’m handsome, my sweet Sam. I can tell you want me,” he says in his poisonous yet enchanting voice as he snakes his hand down to your thigh. You jumped and yelped loudly. “Do you want me, Sam darling? Does the big, scary bandit lady want me?”

You knew you would regret this, but you nodded. He could easily overpower you. The Mad King violently kissed your lips and almost instantly licked your lips. Oh god, you thought, you fucked up. He pulled away and grinned down at you.

“How about we have a little fun, bandit?” he asked you, knowing what the answer already was. He pulled you up by your hair as you yelped in pain. "Would you like that?"

“Watch the hair, Ryan,” you say, using his real name. Ryan blinked and growled. This prompted him to pull your hair again, this time closer to him so your hips were locked in with each other. You could feel his already hard cock rubbing against your pants. You enjoyed how rough he was with you, which was weird for somebody as tough as you.

“What did you call me, whore?” Ryan reached down to grab your neck once again. This time, though, it was harder and he was actually getting mad at you. You refused to repeat his name back to him. All you did was shake your head. A grin spread on his lips once again, relieving you. “Good. Keep it that way.” Ryan remarked as he went to reach in your pants. You threw your head back and moaned as he dipped one of his fingers in your aching pussy. You hated to admit that you were loving this. He took the opportunity to leave kisses and bites on your neck. You whimpered as you felt yourself get wetter for him.

“You love this, don’t you, little slut?”

You couldn’t help but nod. The king slipped in another digit and then went to rub your sensitive clit. You didn’t know how much more of this you could handle. Your moans got progressively louder. When he pulled his fingers out of you, you whimpered sadly.

Ryan then picked you up and brought you down onto his large bed. It was soft, the silk sheets caressing your whole backside gently. He pulled at the hem of your shirt until your shirt came completely off and was tossed across the room. You unclasped your own bra to help him out. It was the least you could do. He was very grateful for not having to deal with that, and to show his appreciation he leaned down to suck on your nipple. You grinded against him while he sucked and licked at you. He went up to kiss you hungrily as he rubbed your nipples with his finger.

“You’re enjoying this, you whore. God, I can’t wait to fuck you so hard.” He grinded roughly into you as he moved his hands off your perky breasts to pin you against the bed with a strange mixture of aggression and love. He grunted as he sped up, then went to slip off your pants to just leave you in your panties. Ryan smiled down at the sight of your body just lying there for his taking. You were undoubtedly attracted to him, but what would the others say if they saw the way you submitted to simply his touch?  If Ace and the others saw you, oh god it wouldn't be good. At least you could come up with an excuse and say you did it to save them. Right now, you were focused on Ryan slipping off his shirt. He was built and you felt yourself getting even wetter than you thought possible. He flexed teasingly, and you laughed a bit. Even through his tough exterior, he seemed like he could be a goofball.

After he stripped down till he was naked completely, he took off your panties and tossed them to the side like they were nothing to him. He positioned himself and pinned you down again just as a way to assert who was the dominant one here.

“Now, be a good girl for the king,” Ryan growled as he thrust inside you. You moaned loudly almost instantly as he filled you up. He pulled out just a bit, then kept thrusting into you. You arched your back and grabbed onto his as he kept pounding into you. 

“What a good slut,” Ryan murmured in that voice that makes you shudder. He even broke out of the stoic role and moaned a bit. You rolled your hips along with his and ran your nails down his back as a way of saying that the feeling he was giving you was nothing you've ever felt before. He grimaced in pain and sped up with no warning. You never felt this good in your whole life, and it seemed like he was an expert at this. Oh god, you thought, I’m getting close.

“M-my king,” you whimpered to him, running your hands through his hair. He gazed down at you for a second as a tear streamed down your cheek. He kissed you roughly before you pulled away for a second. “I-I’m close!” Your voice was hoarse from all the screaming you’ve been doing.

“Come for me, you little whore. Come and scream my name,” Ryan said confidently. You arched your back and screamed his name one final time as you climaxed. He groaned as you rode out the waves of your orgasm and you could feel him come inside you as well. Your body shivered as the two of you locked gazes. He slowed down, then collapsed next to you. The room was all of a sudden silent, which made you nervous. He turned to you and did what you wouldn’t expect from him: he pulled you into his strong arms and held you close to him.

“Ryan?” You asked. He sighed.

“Yes?” Ryan replied, not even caring anymore about being called king. At least for now.

“Why are you all of a sudden holding me? I thought you hated me.”

“Never said I hated you,” he said with a tired tone in his voice, “I think you’re a very beautiful but sneaky little girl.” He kissed your forehead and that made you feel a bit better. His hand made it's way to the small of your back.

“I’m sorry about sneaking in,” you finally apologize. He shook his head.

“It’s okay. I’ll release your friends tomorrow. As long as you stay the night. And you keep coming back. And, of course, I get my sword back,” he said in a sweet voice. You smiled at him, relieved that you saved your friends from their certain death. You nodded in agreement, alright with what he was proposing.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. I just want to sleep now,” you mumbled as he pulled the covers over the two of you and shut off the lights. The two of you quickly fell asleep in each other's arms.


End file.
